Stop Wasting Your Singleness!

Our singlehood really is a sweet time. It’s a unique time and stage in life that not everyone is able to take advantage of it. As singles, we have more time to focus on things that we will never be able to if we were married or had kids. I’ve seen married friends of mine, wishing they had more time, like when they were single, to do the things that they loved: exercise, going out with friends, travelling, learning a new language…

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

There is a time for everything. Right now, is our moment at “singledom.” God has put us in a stage in life that several young women never experience, or only experience for a very short while. When a person gets married, their focus can no longer be what they would like to do. They have to focus on their spouse and children. That is their main responsibility. As singles, we have the opportunity of not having that extra responsibility. It might be the only time that we will be able to focus so much time and energy to certain areas of our lives.

In my last post, I challenged you and myself to stop waiting for something that might never happen and to get busy doing something. Here is my list of a few practical things we can do to get busy and stop wasting our singleness.

1. Find other Singles Girls. Most likely, we all know at least one other single girl at our church or among our friend’s circles. Get close to them. Chances are you have a lot in common just by having the common ground of singleness. My advice is to not get close to single girls who are not Christians, not for this kind of relationship at least. Their vision on life and singleness is not usually the same as ours should be. If you can’t find someone whom you think you can get close to, pray for God to bring you special single friends. For almost 3 years, my mom and I prayed that God would bring good friends into my life, and I have been blessed by some of the best friends I have ever had, most of them single. We have a great time. We can laugh about our adventures and stories, cry about life’s woes and share our disappointments in still being single as well as encourage one another to seek after God. I’ve been changed by some of these friends, and some of the conversations we’ve had has been what has sparked me to start this blog and share with other singles.

2. Plan adventures! Plan trips or vacations with some of these single friends. Or go by yourself! Sometimes travelling by yourself can be one of the best experiences in life. Whatever it is plan something fun and enjoyable. It can be something close by in your city, or some kind of travel adventure. Be creative. I have a friend who did a “30 before 30” bucket list. Put any of your life long dreams on the list and get busy!

3. Get ahead in your career. As a single, you will have more time on your hands than if you had a husband and kids. Use this time to get ahead in your career! This might be by learning a new language, perfecting a skill, starting your own business, finishing your degree. Whatever it is, do it.

4. Invest in your hobby. If you don’t have a hobby, find it. It might be exercise, learning a new language, learning to play an instrument, baking, biking, travelling. Whatever it is, invest time and maybe even some finances into it.

5. Get organized in Life. Get out of debt. Organize your house/room and make it a habit to keep it clean. Organize your finances with a budget, do your own taxes. Buy your own house/ car, get health/life insurance. Keep an agenda, and use it!

6. Find your ministry. If you haven’t found your spiritual gift yet, you’d better get busy! God wants us to know our special gift because he uses us through it. If you aren’t edifying his body, the church, through your gift, you are in sin! Find what you enjoy and feel the most fulfilled. Once you minister to others and focus on others’ needs, chances are you won’t be caught up in your own discontentment and discouragements.

7. Deepen your relationship with God. This time as a single, can be the time in your life where you might need to depend on God the most. It’s through our dependency on him that we can grow in Him, and become more like Him. As we become more like him, our purpose in living will be fulfilled, as well. He wants us to live holy lives, and there is no other way to become holy than to follow His Word, and His example.

May we be encouraged and excited to be in this single life! Let’s get busy living and not wasting!

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